Intimacy ( Into Me See )

Intimacy

(Into Me See)

Do not live outside of your heart and miss the best part of love…

I missed the best part of love by concentrating on what I thought love should be.

What is intimacy? Intimacy and love are feelings and gestures that are different for everyone in how one perceives them. This is what it meant for me, and I missed it while it was happening because I thought it should be something else. Now it is too late, and my husband of twenty-five years has stopped loving me and now is just being because I never acknowledge the fact, he was loving me, but I was too worried about the right way, and I missed it.

My definition of intimacy is just standing still so quiet next to each other that even the slightest breeze through the trees sends shivers down your spine and makes the hair stand on the back of your neck, knowing what the other is thinking without even saying a word or is it when your beloved glides his hand into yours and whispers they love you as you walk along a forgotten path and you’re filled with such peacefulness that it feels like you’re walking on air or is it embracing one another so close and so perfectly fit that you become one. Intimacy for everyone feels, looks, and magically generates the feeling of wholeness differently in each of us. For me, the feeling of warm glowing embers or watching firefly’s dance by in the dark knowing that I could stay in that moment forever is what perfect closeness is for me. Not seeing the tiny imperfections or feeling imperfect but the opposite feeling perfectly fit with my soulmate hearing him breathe as if it were my own breath hearing his heart beat in perfect rhythm with mine seeing his eyes so perfectly fixed on mine bright shiny and full of love for me just standing in our perfect place quietly feeling and hearing every thought and emotion without the slightest movement or words. Just standing in the stillness forever is my perfect intimacy. No sex no physical touch no words spoke just two hearts beating as one.

My love it has always been so hard to put into words the way I feel when I am near you, see you, or hear your voice. I have always felt it was easier to put it on paper so if you thought it was silly or stupid, I did not have to see your facial expression. So, for you my dear the pen is my sword and the paper my stone to tell you exactly how I feel. Many mistakes made but many lessons learned. Just know that through every trial and every victory I have never stopped loving you. Just know that I have learned so much and grown in ways that I never thought possible because of your amazing gift of patience, even though I know there are times you are ready to give up on me somehow you give me another chance. I realize now that the way we show love to each other was different and I wish if I could change anything on this journey with you it would be to allow you to love me in your own way. To know what I know this very moment from the beginning oh how different our lives would be. Who is to say that it would be better or worse only the road not taken knows that? I would like for you to believe that this is my true intention and my absolute truth, and I do not have any reason to manipulate you in this stage of our marriage. So first please know and accept how much I love you and how proud and grateful I am for you. I know that I can say really mean things but when I start this, I would ask that you remind me that I need to stop talking nonsense and figure out only positive things to say. I have been redirecting my negative thoughts and instead speak aloud a positive word about you.

You are my eternal soul mate and just know that we have been in this very place before but this time the lesson is learned. I love you more than the stars in the sky the sand on the beaches and trash in the landfill….

Always and forever even after we discard our human bodies our souls will be back together as one spirit.

Thank you for taking the time to read and hopefully taking in some of the lessons that are here.

Please feel free to comment, give your definition of intimacy or if you would like to share your experiences.